The Bag of Doom Technique: A Guide to Making the Worst Life Choices

By applying the Bag of Doom Technique, you too can make choices that will guarantee a lifetime of regret, disappointment, and possibly a few decent anecdotes for a cocktail party.

Step 1: Ignore All Reason and Logic

When in doubt, just do whatever it feels good, regardless of consequences. The consequences can be dealt with later, by a professional, like a divorce lawyer or a therapist.

Step 2: Focus on Immediate Gratification

Tap into your primal urges and let the world wait. If it feels good, it's good. If it's bad, it's also good, because, why not?

Step 3: Rationalize Your Choices

Justify your decisions with half-baked theories and pseudo-science. Who needs actual evidence or expertise when you have a good gut feeling?

Step 4: Repeat Steps 1-3 Ad Nauseam

Keep making choices that will inevitably lead to a world of pain, until you're old and grey and wondering how it all went wrong.